Recently an entirely new bicycle sub-culture presented itself to me: dog-cycling (I’m not even sure it that’s what to call it). I’m sure it’s been around before I was born. After all, modern day bicycles aren’t too different than their ancient ancestors & the domestication of dogs has been ongoing for centuries. It’s like how you don’t notice how many red bicycles are out there on the road until you get a new red bicycle. And then they all seem to glow at you. I’ve spotted a bicycle-and-dog team duo once a week since I’ve recently become the joint care-taker of a cute 1 year old pup. And that’s just in my hood. The number of trained trail dogs on the green belt probably surpass my estimates.

My new dog is young enough to train and energetic enough to keep up with me on the bicycle for miles. The biggest challenge has been the training part. It’s best to leash train the dog on land prior to venturing out on wheels. I’m a prone to impatience, and opted to try to land leash and bicycle leash train the dog simultaneously.

Whenever I spot a bicycle-dog duo, I wanna rub shoulder with them. I’m embarking on the parameters of a completely new sub-culture of bicycling, and I look for clues of success for me and the pup. One such clue is the apparent style of bike used when biking with a dog. No drop-down handle bar road bikes. There’s not enough control over maneuvering the bike or directing the dog if shoulders are hunched forward. On city streets cruisers are the norm. On the trails, thick wheels and straight handle bars, along with a well-trained dog that can keep up without a leash.

One of the biggest obstacles with dog-cycling is other animals: other dogs, cats, squirrels, birds. Squirrels are in full force this time of year, instinctually gathering nuts and frantically searching for a place to bury them before winter begins. Squirrels are so well camouflaged amongst trees and grass. It’s not until they zip across the black streets and my dog makes a bee-line after the squirrel that I notice they’re there. Squirrels are hands-down the most hazardous to dog-cycling.

At this point in my dog’s youthful, but forgetful, training, I manage squirrels with a wrist-leash technique. Multiple loops of the leash around my wrist loosely. A flash of fuzzy brown scurries, and if I’m on an uphill climb and not balanced to resist the dog’s pull, I simply let go. I don’t want a gash on my knee from dog-cycling to be confused with a knee gash from Crit racing.

Call it the Rapha effect. Ever since the high end clothier started selling minimalist styled cycling clothing and producing high art films and a magazine, there has been a proliferation of blogs that seek to define what it is to be Pro including Embrocation, Belgium Knee Warmers, Red Kite Prayer, and Velominati. In a post-Lance Armstrong world, they glorify the great hard men of the sport, past and present, those who had the daring and the legs to make legendary racing. These site fit my disposition towards bicycle racing. I look forward to the Tour of Flanders and Paris-Roubaix more than the Tour de France. I appreciate Thor Hushovd, Phillip Gilbert, and Thomas Voeckler far more than Andy Schleck and Alberto Contador. I’ll read Bobke and A Dog in a Hat any day over It’s not about the bike.

Rapha or Ralph Lauren? Rapha has brought classic cycling clothing styling back from its Primal existance.

When it comes to style, the authors of these sites look to their Pro heroes to define good taste and best practices. I take a classic sense of style in my bikes so these voices are welcome in a world of too many Primal jerseys and generic carbon bikes. Unfortunately, this can too easily descend into a rigid hero worship and elitism that is unwelcoming of other riders because of silly idiosyncrasies like the logo placement on your tires and whether your glasses go under or over your helmet straps.

I am talking about The Rules.

For some reason, the passionate roadies find it all too easy to impart their wisdom as absolutes. Some are made with tongue firmly in cheek like the Universal Truths of Cycling by 18 Miles Per Hour.

Others get so verbose and byzantine as to come off as thoroughly douchey. Take the 85, count ‘em 85 rules of the Velominati. When you get into high double digits for the guidelines of a philosophy, it ceases to be a way of life but simply personal tastes of the individual. As the Dude would say, “Yeah, well, you know, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.”

The Velominati rules also seem to be stuck in the norms of the current Pro peloton, with little regard to the style and traditions of the past. Take for example rules #30 and #36.

Rule #30- No frame-mounted pumps.

Rule #36- Eyewear shall be cycling specific. No Aviator shades, blueblockers, or clip-on covers for eye glasses.

Really? So I guess Fausto Coppi wasn’t Pro?

Tut, Tut, Fausto. You are going to get your racing license revoked with that frame pump. Image courtesy of Italianalmanac.org

Though he could beat Bartoli on the climbs, by the Velominati rules even the great Campionissimo wasn't pro with those sunglasses. Image courtesy of The Telegraph

The golden bicycle rule

The world’s great religions are defined by a few simple ideas that guide all the other words that are written. So it should be with riding a bike.

I suggest we chuck all those other rules and follow the these simple commandments.

You shall love your bike and ride it at every chance you get;

AND

You shall love all others on two wheels, regardless of style or frame geometry, for these are your brethren and you too were once a newb’.

WWJD? He'd tell you to stop focusing on the speck in others' eyes and just get out and ride your bike.

If you want to be more stylish or Pro on your bike, by all means read these other sites and look to the greats like Coppi and Merckx for guidance. On the other hand if what you wear and how you ride works for you and makes you happy, ignore snobby roadies and just go ride your bike!

“I want to point that if you have a car and more money (it) does not mean that you can park it everywhere,” Zuokas said.

While the car smashing was a publicity stunt using an abandoned Mercedes, it is refreshing to see a city official stand with the cyclists over selfish motorists. Considering how quickly our City Council and staff cave to a small vocal minority of automotive apologists, we just might want to draft Arturas Zuokas for our next election!

A peloton of pancakes!

In addition to the bicycle pancakes shown, she also made dinosaurs, pinwheels, trains, and the Eiffel Tower. Lucky indeed!

Is this guy a Fred, a Poser or both?

What do you think?

Are they mutually exclusive or one and the same?

UPDATE: For whatever its worth, here’s the condensed definition of Fred from Wikipedia:

Fred is a derisive term used by “serious” road cyclists to describe other cyclists who do not conform to serious road cyclists’ norms with regard to dress and equipment, and appear amateurish to them. The term is generally reserved for men, while the female Fred is sometimes called a Doris or a Wilma.

The exact qualities that define one as a “Fred” vary widely among regions and cyclists. The earliest two definitions used for the term are actually completely contradictory.

Pass it on and then watch your back!

While this Friday’s video clip is a British ad promoting Sony products, it also is a pretty cool collection of shots of exploding paint fireworks in an abandoned housing project. Enjoy.

Every generation has its MC Spandex, and I like to think that Eddy Merckx’s generation had Alex Marco  singing this ditty, “The Bike” recently found by Bike Hugger. Fellow cyclists, it is your job to bring back the long forgotten dance crazy by the end of the year so it may take its place in the pantheon of the Mashpotato, Macarena, and Boot Scoot Boogie.

Finally with the issue of safe passing in the news again, it is only appropriate to think about how much more efficient bikes are in the space they take up on the road and when you get to your destination. Brompton, the English folding bike company, did this promotional picture showing how many Bromptons can fit in a single car parking space.

Image courtesy of Gizmodo

It turns out that like the meaning of the universe, the answer is 42. Imagine how different our city would looke if we didn’t have to take up so much real estate and concrete parking our vehicles.

We the undersigned are citizens of the world who urge the Iowa Legislature to support a ballot initiative for the November 2010 election which will prohibit any motor vehicle from using state and county defined farm-to-market roads.

A farm-to-market road is a state or county road which serves to connect rural or agricultural areas to market towns.

Over the past ten years the number of motorists using these farm-to-market roads has increased dramatically, as have the number of preventable accidents and fatalities.

Traditional rural methods of commerce are significantly impacted when forced to share the farm-to-market roadways with motorists. Because of the growth of today’s commerce and agricultural business, shared roadways are no longer safe or practical in today’s society.

Operators of automobiles routinely disobey speed limits, spook horses and raise clouds of dust. They zip about, and act as though they own the public road itself!

So please if you are a resident of the world join us and help make our roadways safe for both people and livestock. Thanks for your time and your support.

As of this morning, it already had over 300 signatures. I encourage you all to sign it as well.

Here are some of the better comments from signees:

We pay big bucks for expressways – use them.- Anonymous

In the last two weeks I have seen two goldfinches hit by cars on farm-to-market roads while riding my bicycle. This is our state bird. It’s a travesty.- Brenda Conry, Iowa

Entitled Driver Syndrome needs to be stopped. Driving is a privilige, not a right. If you can’t do it safely, then the state shouldn’t allow you to do it at all.- Anonymous

4.000 pounds rolling at 55 mph. Collisions with that are not pretty and the safety of the farm to market roads will see a much higher improvement by banning cars instead of bicycles.- Anonymous

Gas Sucks. Ride your bike.- Anonymous

Speeding cars scare me, my wife, my children, my pets, and my cow.- Patrick Coughlin, Iowa

Cars should be strictly controlled as deadly weapons. Which means a thorough background check is in order for motor vehicle drivers licenses, just like gun ownership.- Wendy Peabody, California

Manpower: I am the engine.- Anonymous

Please get these dangerous cars off the road before they hurt someone!- Anonymous

Gosh darn motor carriages! They are the Devil’s work!- Jason Parkin, Iowa

The dust affects my allergies and the drivers my pursuit of happiness.- Anonymous

In another News of the Weird moment, the Alabama Alcoholic Beverage Control Board has banned the sale of Cycles Gladiator wine because the label has a drawing of a naked nymph riding a bicycle. The AP reports that:

The Alabama Alcoholic Beverage Control Board recently told stores and restaurants to quit serving Cycles Gladiator wine because of the label. Board attorney Bob Martin said the stylized, art-nouveau rendition of a nude female with a flying bicycle violated Alabama rules against displaying “a person posed in an immoral or sensuous manner.”

So a product you have to be 21 or older to purchase is deemed immoral because it has a drawing of the human form? Or is it the bicycle that makes it “immoral and sensuous”? The NPR blog The Two-Way points out that Fat Bastard wine is OK to sell in Alabama. So I guess you can use swear words to your heart’s content, but show the natural female form, and you get stopped at the boarder.

The wine maker which also supports cycling events started a Banned in ‘Bama campaign and has not been financially hurt by the ban. Bill Leigon from Cycles Gladiator is quoted in the AP article saying:

. . . he will never miss the 500 cases sold annually in Alabama. “There is going to be a significant increase in our sales,” he predicted.

I think we should do everything we can to support a company promoting bicycling and naked ladies. It just seems like the right thing to do.